To move a mountain, or a continent for that matter.

A hot topic in the news as of late has been the whole Wikileaks website. I'm pretty well respected in the political arena and have been allowed to view classified documents on several different occasions. I wanted to beat Mr. Assange to the punch on this one. 

The United Nations is currently meeting in Cancun for a so called "Climate Conference." But what they're really talking about is the possibility of reuniting the former super-continent known as Pangea. IBTTYHTRP. I'm bout to tell you how to reunite Pangea.

Basically, a continent is a raft. A big huge raft. How do you move a raft? With wooden ores. How will we move a continent? A lot of those wooden ores. Starting with Australia, the inhabitants therein will be asked to craft their own paddles and then proceed to the coast where they will walk to approximately waist deep waters and then they will start to paddle in synchronicity. Based on the physics I just did in my head, which are these-the weight of the people on Australia will be lightened by half through their presence in the  water, therefore the mass of the continent with all its inhabitants on land subtracted from the mass with the inhabitants half in water and half on land is equal to 400 giga joules. The amount of Energy produced by Australians population is approximately 750 giga joules. That's greater than 400 giga joules. 

Australia will lead the way as it proceeds eastward toward America. Followed by the five other continents.

America will not be moving, rather, the other continents will come to us. Not because Americans are lazy because everybody knows that is just propaganda. It's because America is the strongest continent and has never moved anywhere. As a wise-man once said, "I will build my house upon the rock...of America." The great creator was also a wise-man, he built his home on the rock of America. All others will come to us.

Final step of the voyage is number-one-most-tricky-step. Connecting the continents. The "REUNION," as it's being referred to in the scientific community. The only possible way to connect them is...safety pins. America has been producing a surplus of safety pins for the past two decades in preparation for this glorious day. (See how long it can take to disseminate legitimate information?) So teams of scuba divers will descend to the depths of the sea and safety pin the continents together while the people of the world unite in a game of tug-o-war, if you will, to keep the continents snug together. 

It's about time I Bretleaked this info to yo aces. Can I end with a poem? No? My blog, IWWAPIIW. I will write a poem if I want. I want.

Dinosaurs were here

I'll never forget

Nor should you

They lived in harmony as one human race

On one giant continent with one equal face

They've never been to space

Someday they will go there, vicariously

Through you, through me

If we reunite Pangee

Pangea.

Bret's about to be serious. WTCIH (What the crap is happening)?

Mykenzie had some sort of unspeakable party that she'll have to tell you all about later. This post might be boring because I had such a good time I couldn't even joke about it.

Meanwhile Bret had a the best day in a long time. I'll let him tell you.

So I woke up bright and early, but unfortunately I was an hour late for choir. Woops. Luckily my director is a very kind and forgiving man. I came home, took a shower, and read the newspaper. Went up to my boys' room. My boys are Alvaro and Sam, and I walked into see Alvaro and Kinsey Crabb spooning. It was fantastic! We then watched the USU Georgetown game which was, well, the only bad part of the day.  Hit up the MP (Market Place) for some grub. Then we had an epic snowball fight with the legendary Alex Russell Meadows aka "The Good Guy." We then headed to Bountiful to do baptisms for the dead ( we were joined by Taylor Dolbin). A freakin' road trip baby. Then we did baptisms and Sam confirmed and baptized us. The Spirit was so strong. Something we all needed. Then we went to Cafe Rio and returned to Logan.

Once we were home we hit up some dear friends, namely Michael Peine, Sarah, Anne Marie, and Beardo and had an intense dance party. Went to Angie's, cleaned the sink. Then Sam, Taylor, and I went to Romney Stadium and straight up snuck onto the football field. Sooo nice man. I mean BS nice. It was good.

To finish up we had a toast party. A toast party is a new tradition we invented where we buy Martinelli's sparkling cider and then you simply toast. We toasted for all the things we're grateful for. Alex Meadows, Kinsey's butt, Kinsey, Collin from the Junction, The Junc and the MP, the Jazz, Hawaii 5-0, Love, Health, and all the black people in the world. The list went on. It was the stuff of legend.

A great night. Definitely needed. Look How Far We've Come...ILMLMOTT.

It's about dang time.

So we've been out of the loop for the last little while with the Holiday of our forefathers and what not. Now we're back with a lot of things to address. Mark, Set, Go!

A True Haiku (I think this one'll do)

She drawed,
She drawed me into her painting.
She knew watercolors were my weakness
and with her charisma I didn't see my own blindness.
I was all four her from day one,
we fell in two love
three months later I realized
that I had been four warned from above.
Five...
She left me...barely living.
How wretched my pain.
I fell for her facade.
Where to go now.
Not a question. A statement.
I'm going to Where.
A place that everyone else can't seem to find.
"Where am I going?" Say most,
Where, is where I'm going, I boast.
I loved with Love that was much more than love.
Love was my loves name.
She fooled me twice, shame on me still.
I leave to Where, I'm going there
to get away from Love-
To find love.

That was a group of feelings Bret had about a certain miss Kinsey Crabb.


I''m prepping for my first week of College finals. A stressful experience thus far. As I was reading through my lecture notes I came across a quote by an anonymous source (anonymous as in I'm too lazy to open my book that's under my elbow to see who said it). Anonymous said,
      "Our human nature: To question, to explore, to discover, to test the limits of the known, and to push           beyond to the unknown."
An inspirational, moving, potentially life-changing quote. At first. I pondered this statement and I came to a conclusion. That being, I know everything. How can I try to advance the knowledge and discoveries of my world when I know for a fact that I know it all. Who am I? I am Smart. I'm just saying that it really is tough to be me (Bret). I'm grateful for this thought because now that I've reminded myself that I know everything, I don't have to study for my finals. I'll blog instead.

ILML. Peace and LOL. Thanks for reading, if you can...

Late Night Rambles

Has anyone ever considered why things are funnier at 3 am? Is it due to lack of conciseness or do people just let go and decide to show their true humor? Kenzie decided late on saturday night that it must be both. While several people were drifting in and out of delusional dreams on her floor she had a simple thought inspired by the fabulous movie Hitch. Now you are probably wondering what in the world could this post be about? Love, hope, friends, or relationships? Kenzie says nay, her simple post is about fruit, particularly fruit baskets. Why the fruit baskets? What specifically sets fruit apart to give it it's own carrier. Vegetables don't get a designated basket, neither do any other foods. So really why fruit? Does it make a difference whether fruit is two inches off of the counter? Does this somehow make fruit last longer, is it because fruit is prettier than other foods? I think that is very biased, really a good lookin carrot can top a regular joe kiwi any day. Just saying. Thanks for reading this, if you can. I realize a huge percent of our population is illiterate and this is something we believe our blog is helping to stop. Particularly children between the ages of birth to 24 months Thanks for helping to fix this tragedy.

Awkward reading? Follow up question, Velcro shoes?

So as I've been getting into the blogging world I have noticed that there are some things that should just be left unsaid. I mean yes, it's true that I follow your blog because I enjoy hearing about your life. But there are honestly some things that you should just keep to yourself. I digress...

Now for the real post!

Velcro shoes.

Velcro shoes are such a fickle thing. As Kenzie and I were discussing the do's and dont's of footwear, she told me about a stunner in her music class who rocks the velcro sneakers. It's interesting to me that she brought up the subject of velcro shoes because I have personally always been a supporter. Granted, I haven't worn them since my early youth, I can see why people would choose to where them. I mean honestly people, stopping to tie your shoes can really take a chunk of your free time. So take that into consideration as I move on to part two of the discussion.

What ages are velcro shoes considered taboo, if you will. Naturally the youngsters can pull off wearing the velcro with Optimus Prime on the side, but can a snack-sized teen, who just so happens to still fit into size 13 kids shoes, still sport the superhero (or superhera if I'm being PC) velcro sneaker? I have a tough time saying yes. Or no for that matter. It's just a murky answer to me. So let us take society's current standards and apply them to the velcro sneaker.

Ages 1-10, maybe older even but well cut off at ten for rounding purposes, society is ok with velcro on yo feet! Ages 12-18, people who wear them are either very funny, very weird, or are just trying to save time. Still no clear answer. Ages 18-25, get real people, you're trying to start your career, let me put it in words you will understand "The 'CRO has left its nest"-Quit wearin 'em. Ages 25-70, now this is where the masses reside, you are working full time, dress classy, thus no 'cro. Not to mention you are most likely raising children, let the kids have their glory days with the velcro shoes. Don't steal the spotlight, that's just immature. Ages 70-death, velcro shoes are back my friends. The crow has returned. You are free/free as you'll ever be/free to wear the velcro/preferably in white, like snow. That one was a haiku I think.

Keep in mind that everything above is one young man's observations and application of what he has seen society permit. All I know is this, when I turn the big 7-0, I hope my future wife read this post. What I'm saying dearest wife of the future, I want some fresh Nike Velcro High Tops on the 4th of May, 2062.

Thanks for listening. (I know you're actually reading, but you are essentially listening to the thoughts that I put in your head. I am controlling you're thoughts. Still, I'm still doing it. Goodness you are pathetic. Quit reading this. Ok, stop on three, 1-2-...oh look you're still reading haha DORK. You love me, and I own you. Sounds good to me. You want to give Bret Clapier money. Quit reading, well quit after you finish the rest of the post. I continue to control your thoughts.) I'll leave you with a thought, when can the classic Light-Ups of our youth be worn? TAI. Think About It.

Limitless paper, in a paperless world.

The title is just a little snippet of how I feel when I watch this vid. This is a sweet vid. Check out Sid. Sid Sriram.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPQtcm6HV2w

Free FALLin'...

First things first, Bret had no choice but to give this post the title he did. Every blog should have a post that has the name of the season that it's posted in. i.e. Fall-November-Free Fallin. So, Bret grew up surrounded by comedians. And he is, as the great philosopher Michelangelo said, "A product of his environment."  Or maybe he's a philosopher. Don't take my word for it, listen to him.

Some things have been on my mind lately. Life questions, career options, ways to spend my time, what to eat, where to eat, favorite movies, etc. My mind is just going crazy. I needed a good blog post to just, rid my brain of everything that I'm thinking about. To do that I just felt like I should ask every question, tell every joke, and make every analogy that I can think of. A lot of these are not from my mind alone, great comics before me have inspired what will soon be before your eyes. Here goes.

What is your default mind song? You know the one that you always hum on your way to class. Mine is Drop the world by weezy mashed up with Africa by Toto. It's interesting.

Is Hawaiian punch in fact the carrot cake of the sodas? Personally I like Hawaiian punch.

What words are going to make major comebacks? A friend of mine suggests that stella might be on its way back in.

What's the deal with grape nuts? Michael Scott told brought this to my attention.

Will the check engine light go off on its own if you wait long enough? I guess I haven't waited long enough.

Cookies with raisins are like the carrot cake of the cookies. True.

Fast moving water are known as rapids, is slow moving water considered a SLOWPID?

These among others my friends, these among others.

And I'd like to end with the QOTD. Question of the day for the less well-versed in abbreviations.
           "Could perspective be considered a more significant perspective than time?"
TAI. Think about it.
We love you all. HAGS.

KGB

This is Bret.

This is Mykenzie.

They're aight but this blog is an attempt to show everyone else in the world how many stunnas walk the Utah State University campus, and it's surrounding areas.

So, let me break it down for you.

So, Kenzie and Bret were running today up the wonderful Logan canyon when they stumbled upon a lake. Or should we say they discovered an unknown lake. Anyway, they were talking about everything and nothing when Kenzie suggested the obvious. The obvious being, "Let's go swimming!" So they did. It is officially November, there was snow on the ground last week, they live in Logan, freaking Utah, and they jumped in a barely bearable body of water. Anyway,  they swam with the mutant ducks, and then continued their run (promise they were running and not walking) back home. 

This monumental event marked the beginning of a blog that will hopefully entertain the masses. Peace and Blessings. Peace and Love. Peace and Drugs? Nah. That aint me! Kenzie however...haha lol jk omg. Brb...IN A FEW DAYS! Or tomorrow.