To move a mountain, or a continent for that matter.

A hot topic in the news as of late has been the whole Wikileaks website. I'm pretty well respected in the political arena and have been allowed to view classified documents on several different occasions. I wanted to beat Mr. Assange to the punch on this one. 

The United Nations is currently meeting in Cancun for a so called "Climate Conference." But what they're really talking about is the possibility of reuniting the former super-continent known as Pangea. IBTTYHTRP. I'm bout to tell you how to reunite Pangea.

Basically, a continent is a raft. A big huge raft. How do you move a raft? With wooden ores. How will we move a continent? A lot of those wooden ores. Starting with Australia, the inhabitants therein will be asked to craft their own paddles and then proceed to the coast where they will walk to approximately waist deep waters and then they will start to paddle in synchronicity. Based on the physics I just did in my head, which are these-the weight of the people on Australia will be lightened by half through their presence in the  water, therefore the mass of the continent with all its inhabitants on land subtracted from the mass with the inhabitants half in water and half on land is equal to 400 giga joules. The amount of Energy produced by Australians population is approximately 750 giga joules. That's greater than 400 giga joules. 

Australia will lead the way as it proceeds eastward toward America. Followed by the five other continents.

America will not be moving, rather, the other continents will come to us. Not because Americans are lazy because everybody knows that is just propaganda. It's because America is the strongest continent and has never moved anywhere. As a wise-man once said, "I will build my house upon the rock...of America." The great creator was also a wise-man, he built his home on the rock of America. All others will come to us.

Final step of the voyage is number-one-most-tricky-step. Connecting the continents. The "REUNION," as it's being referred to in the scientific community. The only possible way to connect them is...safety pins. America has been producing a surplus of safety pins for the past two decades in preparation for this glorious day. (See how long it can take to disseminate legitimate information?) So teams of scuba divers will descend to the depths of the sea and safety pin the continents together while the people of the world unite in a game of tug-o-war, if you will, to keep the continents snug together. 

It's about time I Bretleaked this info to yo aces. Can I end with a poem? No? My blog, IWWAPIIW. I will write a poem if I want. I want.

Dinosaurs were here

I'll never forget

Nor should you

They lived in harmony as one human race

On one giant continent with one equal face

They've never been to space

Someday they will go there, vicariously

Through you, through me

If we reunite Pangee

Pangea.

Bret's about to be serious. WTCIH (What the crap is happening)?

Mykenzie had some sort of unspeakable party that she'll have to tell you all about later. This post might be boring because I had such a good time I couldn't even joke about it.

Meanwhile Bret had a the best day in a long time. I'll let him tell you.

So I woke up bright and early, but unfortunately I was an hour late for choir. Woops. Luckily my director is a very kind and forgiving man. I came home, took a shower, and read the newspaper. Went up to my boys' room. My boys are Alvaro and Sam, and I walked into see Alvaro and Kinsey Crabb spooning. It was fantastic! We then watched the USU Georgetown game which was, well, the only bad part of the day.  Hit up the MP (Market Place) for some grub. Then we had an epic snowball fight with the legendary Alex Russell Meadows aka "The Good Guy." We then headed to Bountiful to do baptisms for the dead ( we were joined by Taylor Dolbin). A freakin' road trip baby. Then we did baptisms and Sam confirmed and baptized us. The Spirit was so strong. Something we all needed. Then we went to Cafe Rio and returned to Logan.

Once we were home we hit up some dear friends, namely Michael Peine, Sarah, Anne Marie, and Beardo and had an intense dance party. Went to Angie's, cleaned the sink. Then Sam, Taylor, and I went to Romney Stadium and straight up snuck onto the football field. Sooo nice man. I mean BS nice. It was good.

To finish up we had a toast party. A toast party is a new tradition we invented where we buy Martinelli's sparkling cider and then you simply toast. We toasted for all the things we're grateful for. Alex Meadows, Kinsey's butt, Kinsey, Collin from the Junction, The Junc and the MP, the Jazz, Hawaii 5-0, Love, Health, and all the black people in the world. The list went on. It was the stuff of legend.

A great night. Definitely needed. Look How Far We've Come...ILMLMOTT.

It's about dang time.

So we've been out of the loop for the last little while with the Holiday of our forefathers and what not. Now we're back with a lot of things to address. Mark, Set, Go!

A True Haiku (I think this one'll do)

She drawed,
She drawed me into her painting.
She knew watercolors were my weakness
and with her charisma I didn't see my own blindness.
I was all four her from day one,
we fell in two love
three months later I realized
that I had been four warned from above.
Five...
She left me...barely living.
How wretched my pain.
I fell for her facade.
Where to go now.
Not a question. A statement.
I'm going to Where.
A place that everyone else can't seem to find.
"Where am I going?" Say most,
Where, is where I'm going, I boast.
I loved with Love that was much more than love.
Love was my loves name.
She fooled me twice, shame on me still.
I leave to Where, I'm going there
to get away from Love-
To find love.

That was a group of feelings Bret had about a certain miss Kinsey Crabb.


I''m prepping for my first week of College finals. A stressful experience thus far. As I was reading through my lecture notes I came across a quote by an anonymous source (anonymous as in I'm too lazy to open my book that's under my elbow to see who said it). Anonymous said,
      "Our human nature: To question, to explore, to discover, to test the limits of the known, and to push           beyond to the unknown."
An inspirational, moving, potentially life-changing quote. At first. I pondered this statement and I came to a conclusion. That being, I know everything. How can I try to advance the knowledge and discoveries of my world when I know for a fact that I know it all. Who am I? I am Smart. I'm just saying that it really is tough to be me (Bret). I'm grateful for this thought because now that I've reminded myself that I know everything, I don't have to study for my finals. I'll blog instead.

ILML. Peace and LOL. Thanks for reading, if you can...